With a name like this, you'd think this game is one hard hitting motherfucker. You'd also be thinking wrong.
This is one of those games that has a really superbadass title, but thats about it. Its like the developers think to themselves, "Hey! If we make a game with a name like 'Violence Fight', kids will climb over eachother in the arcades to get ahold of this one!" You know what? You're wrong. This game ranks so high on the suck thermometer, that the suck mercury inside of it couldnt take the pressure and went to go live in a suck retirement home and play with its little suck grandkids.
Ok, I was going to go with the Burt Reynolds-looking ninja guy, but a biker named "Lick Joe"? Instant cool.
"Hey, whats up man? High five!"
Hey, isn't that James Hetfield? I didn't notice because I was too busy trying to look up that girl's skirt.
Ok, after a couple rounds with good ol' Lick Joe, it was time for a change. Lick Joe wasn't all he was cracked up to be. In a game called 'Violence Fight', it takes more than a cool name and some Hulk Hogan good looks to own everyone in the butthole. While all that hair grease might get you IN a butthole easier, it wouldn't help you in jumping around in there and kicking it.
"Thats right, boy. Get down there and hum me a tune."
"EEK! You touched me where my bathing suit covers! Stranger Danger!"
Bad move. Lick Joe should be named "Get kicked in the nuts guy", or "Get punched in the nuts guy" cause thats all he did.
There were some cool parts to this game, speaking from a fighting game buff's perspective. If you hit someone against a wall, the wall would eventually break, the crowd would throw stuff at you if you weren't fighting, and the bonus level was you versus a tiger. Pretty cool stuff for an old game like this. Too bad the game handled like a sack of smashed assholes driving a Ford Pinto in reverse towards a gas tanker with no brakes. I mean damn.
The after-cutscenes made no sense at all. But they always had a positive message in the corner, just like here!
In the tiger bonus stage, I just let one go in the beast's face and watched it stagger around til it passed out, Then i kicked it.
Hahaha...
In all seriousness, this game wasn't that bad. Considering it wasn't a Capcom or SNK fighter, it was well put together and almost fun to play. The only bad thing was that it fucking sucked ass. Congratulations, Taito, you just made my 'Top 10 places to mail a shrapnel bomb to' list. I hope that UPS guy looks like the Grim Reaper when you see him. Fuckers.
